As I prepared these orange roses for the vase I’d assign them as their home, I was surprised when I was pricked by their thorns. I regularly buy roses from Trader Joe’s and 11/10 recommend you do, too. (A dozen roses that last for a week or two for under 10 bucks?! Can’t beat that!) But the other ones aren’t nearly as thorny as this one and it pricked me! Several times over. Life, amirite?!
Roses have thorns, sure, but these were particularly sharp and numerous. It was only then that I was reminded that sometimes, the most beautiful flowers have the sharpest thorns.
And if you know me, if you’ve read other posts, then you know these stunning orange roses’ thorns had me thinking thinking. And I’ve seen orange roses before but this orange?! This deep orange-red?! And these petals perfectly coifed?? It’s how I know God exists!
Back to the thorns. Beautiful flowers have sharp thorns. And the God who created them creates with purpose.
Thorns Serve a Purpose
Not all flowers have sharp thorns, but some do as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from herbivores or other potential threats. Thorns serve as a deterrent to animals that might otherwise try to eat the plant or disturb its reproductive structures. Consequently, thorns make plants less appealing to herbivores and reduces the risk of damage.
Thorns also provide a physical barrier to protect the plant’s vulnerable parts, such as leaves, buds, or flowers, from being grazed upon. Thorns also help the plant conserve water! It’s important to note that not all plants use thorns as a defense mechanism, and there are many species of flowers that lack thorns altogether. The presence or absence of thorns is an adaptations that plants have evolved to survive and thrive in their respective environments.
That said… When you meet someone extra prickly, does it make you curious about why they’re so thorny? Jokingly, when someone says they don’t enjoy something I find delicious, like… Say… Guacamole… I jokingly ask, “Who hurt you?” And when I meet someone who’s most especially thorny I certainly ask the same question, in my head of them. Because I don’t need a question. And some things are best kept to ourselves.
Thorns as an Adaptation
My thorns were an adaptation. Everyone’s thorns are! Because we were treated poorly. Our needs were unmet. We were violated in some way. Whatever the reason, thorns demand that the flower be handled with care. My thorns demanded that others handle me with care. Some got the memo, others didn’t. And it wasn’t for me to decide who got the memo, but how I am handled taught me who was worthy of handling me and staying in my presence.
Yes, I can teach someone how to treat me. But sometimes people don’t want to treat me well. They want to manipulate and take advantage. And sometimes, rather than expend any of my precious time teaching people how to treat me, I choose to accept them for who and how they are, and I move on. It’s simple, but it ain’t easy. Lemme say it again: It’s simple, but it ain’t easy.
And I have to. I’ve learned a whole heap in my 40 years and knowing when it’s time to call it quits with someone is one of them. And this includes family. No one is exempt. No longer do people get to mistreat me simply because they’re family. “It’s not the relation, it’s the relationship” as my cousin once said.
And I have to leave when I’m mistreated. I must. Even if I don’t want to:
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV
And truth be told? My life is 10x better because I love from a distance those who had mistreated me. I have found that people who mistreat people love to complain. And when I spent time with them, I was wasting precious time complaining instead of working. “Faith without works is dead” but they chose complaining over work! And for a time, so did I. Not no more though!
Complaining about what other people were doing. Now Ion know about you, but to me personally? It’s pathetic (strong word choice, but go with me) when people are at home– they ain’t even buy tickets to be at the game!– and they’re complaining about how professional athletes are playing the game. How audacious! As if they could do any better! Sir, you ain’t worked out in fifty eleven years, you really think you could run the play you wanted #34 to run?! Staaaahp!
When someone chooses to mistreat me after I’ve set a clear boundary and corrected them, I leave. Now I do. Back in the day when I was immature I’d fight and argue and demand I be treated with dignity and humanity! I’d stress over, become anxious, lose sleep. But now? Oh baby now I bounce and chuck the deuces on the way out while wishing you God’s best. And respectfully, I don’t care who it is. God commands us to protect our peace and guard our hearts. I protect my peace my protecting my heart, my mind, and my body. If my heart ain’t right neither am I. And why would I knowingly relinquish my power to someone who clearly, by the admission of their own actions, wish to make me feel inferior, less than and/ or unworthy?
Who cares what they say, what are they doing?! People will tell you they love you and hurt you. Do you want to be loved by someone who feels like a prickly thorn when they interact with you? You alone get to choose. Choose well.
Read more about painful love in this post, Just Because They Did Doesn’t Mean You Have To, Too.
