I’m Chosing Myself Over America — And It’s The Most Powerful Decision I’ve Ever Made
I’m leaving the U.S. Not to flee, but to free. Freedom isn’t free. It’s costing me something—the familiar, the known.
I’m leaving the U.S. Not to flee, but to free. Freedom isn’t free. It’s costing me something—the familiar, the known.
I resigned from my job. After 5 months. The environment was too small for me. Not in a “bad” way, but in a they’re tryna put me in a box and don’t they know I’m claustrophobic kinda way.
With God, all things are possible. With God, I now know that all things includes the very thing that I not only thought but downright knew was impossible.
Endurance isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s faith in motion. It’s knowing that even when I was failing chemistry exams, even when I doubted my ability, even when I thought I wasn’t smart enough—God already knew I would make it. And I did. Not because I was the strongest or the fastest, but because I refused to quit.
I made it through because I always make it through! I am resiliency personified. As I look back at a journal entry from June 2024, I am stunned by the growth. Tears well and fill my eyes because, holy moly, I can’t believe this is my life! This is the life God and I co-created this year.
“And so here I am worried about feeling confused and the God who knows the precise number of hairs on my head is prob like ‘Hey Silly Billy, I got you! Haven’t I always?’ To which I respond, ‘Uummm yeah, buuut can You get me sooner?!’ I’m not trying to rush You or anything but if You wanted to do exactly what I had wanted You to do for me quicker, that’d be real cool, too!”
I haven’t realized how long it’s been since I’ve been moving so quickly. From nursing school to becoming a “CEO” and a full-time addictions registered nurse, I’ve been running non-stop for. But now, as I urge others to slow down, I ask myself, ‘Am I worthy of rest too?’ This journey of radical self-acceptance and positive affirmations has led me to understand that I am worthy—right now, in this very moment. Not when I’ve achieved more or done more, but as I am today. Join me as I explore this profound truth and embrace the invitation to rest at a 3 day silent retreat that I so desperately need.
My neurodivergence is one of my many superpowers. It gifts me the opportunity to think at lightening speed, moving as quickly as a bullet train. So fast that sometimes I can’t keep up. I’ve mostly stopped asking myself, ‘How did I get here? How did I arrive at this final place?’ Like a passenger on the bullet train, I have come to enjoy the ride of my own thoughts. To see where my thoughts will go, where they will take me. And it’s different now. So different! Now I direct my thoughts. I no longer let my thoughts direct me and determine my feelings. I have trained myself to think like God thinks. I have trained myself to speak to myself like how God speaks about me.
Adulthood involves reparenting ourselves, offering the nurturing, boundaries, and love we missed in our younger years. It’s about healing our visible and invisible wounds, rewriting our subconscious minds, and shaping our lives according to who we want to be, not just our past traumas. In this post, I delve into what reparenting is and isn’t, the benefits, strategies on how and why I do it so you can, too. Reparenting is loving ourselves like God loves us.
Among a group of people I don’t even know and had just met, I heard myself say, ‘You’re standing among divinity. Yes, we are all divinity personified, but ya’ll, I’m amazing! I am divine!’ I wasn’t arrogant. It wasn’t cocky. It was a kernel of truth. The words flew out of my mouth like water flows from a waterfall—organic, natural, supremely true. This confidence, I’m sure, comes from the affirmations I’ve been writing and saying and singing and praying.