Embracing Shared Struggles
I work as an addictions nurse. Because I, too, have addictions. Once you have it, you always have it. It doesn’t disappear because… Ya know… Humanity!
I hear the worst of the worst as I meet people in their low(est). The horrors that you watch on the news is what I hear firsthand from my brave, bold, courageous clients that I have the privilege to serve at work. And then there’s the religious abuse which doesn’t often make the news, unless it’s about child brides or the Mormon church. (I haven’t watched the news in ages though, so maybe they’re talking about it? Ion know.)
Side note: Religious abuse is the worst abuse, and all abuse, at the end of the day, is spiritual abuse. We are, after all, spiritual beings having a physical experience and anything that degrades our spirit disrupts our peace and humanity.
I extend so very much grace to others in their lows. In their vulnerability.
When I hear their lows, I can’t help but think, “If I experienced that, too, I’d be using substances to cope.”
Confronting Relapse with Universal Truths
And yet, here I am on the heels– and heals!– of my own food relapse.
I don’t speak openly and publicly about my own traumas because everything ain’t everybody’s business. But I do have these conversations one on one, and in small groups. Because how else will you know you can overcome something if you don’t hear anyone who’s overcome it?!
Some things are easier to discuss than others. And TBH (to be honest), I feel convicted in the depths of my being to share more publicly. It’s the stigma. And the shame. UGH. Shame dissolves and dissipates under the light of truth, vulnerability, and openness. Daaang! Well hello, revelation!
You’re a lot of things, and alone is NEVER one of them:
That which has been is that which will be [again], And that which has been done is that which will be done again. So there is nothing new under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 1:9 Amplified Bible
An Invitation to Healing
So, consider this my invitation. An invitation to myself to heal by telling the truth, my truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth! (But in tiny, bite sized pieces so I don’t hurt myself breaking off more than I can chew, and so you don’t choke on too big of a bite.)
And this is an invitation for you to be here now. To come alongside. To come to know the Truth– God’s truth, that is– and the freedom that truth brings.
I already know what some people say about me because they’ve said it to me. They think my family is perfect. HA! My life. Double HA! My bank account. IF ONLY! But babes, life– and nothing in it!– is perfect for anyone. How do I know? Because NOT A SINGLE THING IS PERFECT!!! So let me be the first to dispel, or continue to dispel that lie, that myth, the ultimate deception. All of that said, the stories you tell yourself are true… But only in your head. You out here choosing to believe everybody’s perfect when in truth, they’re just as broken, hurt, wounded, traumatized and perhaps even tormented as you are.
And the ones who aren’t suffering like you are? The one who’ve healed? Who are healing?? They were broken.
I was broken but no longer. I am kinsugi. I am the clay, and God is the Artist. God is the potter, and I am the broken clay. My cracks don’t make me ugly, they make be beautiful!
Confronting Fears and Embracing Faith: A Journey to Liberation and Wholeness
The fears you feel only exist… In your head! Have you ever realized that? … Okay, lemme speak for myself… My fears are a smooth bajillion times bigger in my head than in the light and truth of the world. When we face our fears, faith comes, freedom and liberation come! They are found, felt and experienced! Work completes our faith, and facing our fear takes BIG WORK! Brave work! It’s bold, courageous work! And who doesn’t Desire (that capital D was a typo but it stands!) freedom and liberation from the things that bind??
LIBERATE ME FIRST, PLEASE! So this. (“This”, by the way, has become my favorite word as of late. It’s the specificity for me. The here and now, the present being.) This is my reminder to extend myself grace, too. In all areas of my life. To forgive myself, too. To become and BE, more fully and wholly and completely, the person who I know I was created to be. It’s who I am.
So join me! Ask questions. Be seen. Be heard. We were, after all, created to shine! So let me lead by example and shine:
Salt and Light
Matthew 5:13-16 Amplified
“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.
That last part?? “Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” Yeah, I promise you I ain’t know that was in there.! Those who have eyes let them see and ears let them hear. (Matthew 13:9-16 Jovalized) I see and hear you, God!
Welcome. Get some water, some sun, some tea, your “stuffie” (what my 9 year old nephew calls his stuffed animals. Get cozy. Get comfy. Stay awhile and watch me shine, and I guarantee you’ll begin to shine, too. I’ve been told by countless– very reputable!– sources that my smile, my laugh, my shine is contagious. For those who want it, healing usually is.
You know I loves to end with a prayer but today, I’m gonna end with the we version of the 12 step serenity prayer:
God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.
The 12 Step Serenity Prayer
The courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Your will and ours be one, and may it be fun! Amen.