Being Excluded from the Spaces that Love Us
I no longer sit at your tables. I no longer am eager to come into your rooms. The righteous indignation rose in me like the sun rises predictably in the east.
I no longer sit at your tables. I no longer am eager to come into your rooms. The righteous indignation rose in me like the sun rises predictably in the east.
Love is the clanging of cymbals when there is none—loud in absence and full in its presence. We don’t get to dictate love. This isn’t a movie we direct.
Hair falls from my head like leaves fall off trees and petals fall off flowers. Shedding—letting go—one of the most natural parts of nature.
Have you felt love? Do you know her warm touch and her warm embrace? The nourishment you feel when it fills your belly? There is no love like Divine Love.
I decided that surely love—God herself!—lowkey, highkey?!— most definitely is autistic! Because hooow could she be so literal and giving and generous and unintentionally (?) but actively hiiiiiiilarious?
Don’t keep love hidden like you do the numbers of dollars in your bank account. No! Share love like immigrants share food, trees share oxygen, and the sun shares her rays. ♡
In the dark, I hear her.
In the dark, she knows the parts of me I’ve hidden from myself.
In the dark, I begin to know myself more, too.
I joined the Zoom. And the merriment and shock and surprise when I saw 3 Black women staring back at me. Could I have planned it any better? NOPE! Y’all know I live for people of the global majority. Not in jest, but in ernest. I have breath in my body to help others like myself. And it was immediately evident that I need them as much as they need me.
But perhaps that’s mothering, too. Saying what needs to be said and not being able to say everything, too. As the space of listening closes and grows smaller, our hearts grow bigger, our yearning grows deeper, and our love grows fonder.
Do not worry because where you are, I AM, too. I AM—the God of I AM THAT I AM!– I AM in your past, and have already knitted it together for your beautiful future.