Hi, my name is Joval and I Lost 100 Pounds!

First of all, let me say that I didn’t mean to lose 100 lbs. Whose goal is it to lose a hunnid pounds?! OK, probably a whole heap because obesity is, after all a pandemic, but I can assure you that even at my all-time high of 265, it wasn’t ever mine. Lemme ‘splain, k?

In March 2017, I was fed up. BIG. FED. UP. I was morbidly obese and weighed around 255 lbs (pause: 3 years ago I would never have called myself morbidly obese but hindsight and whatnot, I’ll share more on that in later) and desperate to lose weight, to feel comfortable in my own skin! During my appointments with my doctors they’d throw in a “you need to lose weight. Even 5% would significantly improve your health!” But it’s cray because they never told me how except to ever say don’t eat carbs. All of them? Which ones? None? Cero? I don’t know what that was ever supposed to look like, so I cut out rice because that’s a carb! This is what happens when you want someone to change their behavior but don’t tell them how. Have you ever successfully been able to rally a toddler by saying/yelling,“Get it together!” No, obviously not. And have you successfully been able to change a toddler’s behavior by telling said unruly toddler “Why are you acting like this? Don’t eat off the floor! Don’t hit the dog! Stop biting your sister!” Negative! All that gets is a frustrated adult and a sad or crying toddler. But, have you instead showered said toddler with praise for their what they’re doing right/ well? Or taken the positive approach of “We eat only food on our plates. Fido loves when you pet him with gentle hands. Sissy loves your hugs.” and then OMG, they continue to model that good behavior?! MHMMM.

I reached out to several nutritionists/dietitians, all of whom were (culturally) incompetent. They, along with my docs, were terribly mis-, or under- (but certainly not over-!) educated about obesity. My second to last one, the one who worked in the ‘hood (read: due to her proximal location in a poor, working class ‘hood of brown folk) she, a non-POC I hoped would have had some cultural competency. But nay. Instead she hit me with “Don’t eat [insert 85% of foods that my first generation American and ethnic food-loving self enjoys and offered only suggestions of things I, a very cultured somebody, had never heard of or wouldn’t eat because seasonings are real and what is food if it ain’t got flavor, sis?!]”.

Needless to say, I saw her only twice before I curled up in a ball, defeated by another provider who failed to see all of me and teach me accordingly. And my doctor?! Ugh… My doctors. Even more yikes/ foolishness. So when I was fed up enough and ready to give this thing another go with the help of a learned somebody, I was blessed that the dietitian I found based on proximity to home and was covered by my insurance:

• had sense,
• was nice (read: laughed at my jokes),
• didn’t shame me for my food or lifestyle choices, and
• most importantly, she taught me how to implement tiny, sustainable changes that have had a yuuuuge impact. Because, you know, science!

Most importantly, unlike all of my previous providers, she created a safe space by being… What’s the word… DECENT. She didn’t shame or ridicule me with words, looks, sighs, or get exasperated by me not losing weight because I was obese. NOPE! She treated obesity like a DISEASE and NOT A MORAL FAILING! Why’s that important? Because if you treat it as a disease you can show up for the person and see them who they are in their entirety, sans shame!, and teach them exactly what they need to know to get the best health outcomes. I mean, is that not why they’re in that line of work? Por ejemplo, medical providers would never tell a cancer patient “You’re not trying hard enough to cure yourself! You know this tumor would go away if only you did what I told you. Why haven’t you?” Could you imagine?! NOPITY NO NONE NEGATIVE CERTAINLY ABSOLUTELY NOT. What is ish underprepared (and yes, even some obese!) providers say to their obese patients in a 15 minutes appointment because sure, you chiding me is really gonna spring me into action, Susan! Tell me something I don’t know! And lemme tell ya, this pot done met some kettles. I mean, the audacity that an obese provider would tell an obese patient to lose weight is just ridiculous. Foolish. Asinine. Hypocritical. I think you get the point.

In 2013, the American Medical Association decided to define obesity as a disease. A DISEASE!!! (Trust me, it might not feel like a win, but issa whole win!)

I don’t know how the AMA defined obesity before then, but what I do know is I’m glad they did because the education providers will get will obviously have a direct impact on patient health outcomes! It’s too late for me but bayby, I’ve learned too much to not share all I’ve learned from my experiences and go cause a ruckus… I mean, create change in this space!

“The 2013 decision of the American Medical Association (AMA) to recognize obesity as a complex, chronic disease that requires medical attention came as the result of developments over three decades. Defining a condition such as obesity to be a disease is a very public process that is largely driven by expectation of costs and benefits. Although the public has been slow to embrace defining obesity as a purely medical condition, evidence is emerging for broader awareness of factors beyond personal choice influencing obesity. The AMA decision appears to be working in concert with other factors to bring more access to care, less blame for people with the condition, and more favorable conditions for research to identify effective strategies for prevention and clinical care to reduce the impact of this disease.” Emphasis added because accurate.

Kyle, T. K., Dhurandhar, E. J., & Allison, D. B. (2016). Regarding Obesity as a Disease: Evolving Policies and Their Implications. Endocrinology and metabolism clinics of North America, 45(3), 511–520. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988332/

As I said, I wanted to lose weight to be comfortable in my own skin. Because when summer hit and I was wearing sweaters or some type of cover up to hide a lump or a bump?! I was weary. As someone who’s always been amazing (#facts) and also obese for most of her life, the idea of ever weighing less than 175 was so far beyond me. I did that once. I don’t know the exact number, but I do know I fit into a Gap size 12 denim (you know the firm kind without any stretch?!)

Yep, was a vegetarian for a while (don’t read Fast Food Nation if you ever want to eat meat again), was working out a few days a week, but once I hit my goal of getting into a size 12 jeans, I stopped doing all the healthy behaviors that got me there! I wore them a couple times, but then they shrunk. I mean I un-shrunk because in truth, I’d never adopted a lifestyle change. Nope! I did, however, stop enjoying food for a long while and was on a non-diet diet (aka I restricted myself from eating 99.82% of the things I loved) because I just knew in my heart of horts that once I got reached my goal, the time it took me to lose 60 or however many lbs would surely… You know, sustain me? And we all laugh heartily because we’ve all made this foolish mistake.

So by now I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m even writing this blog. Fair question and I appreciate you for asking! I’m here because I know the struggle. Not like an “Oopsie doospie, I gained 10 lbs over the winter and now that it’s thinking about getting warm out so I’d like to get back to my normal sexy self.” (Totally cool, too. So glad you’re also here because you, too, may be stuck and need help to see the forest through the trees!)

But I’m writing to a very, very specific audience: to my old self! I’m writing this blog to fill a need I know exists because I searched the hills, the valleys, the mountain tops and yes, even a few precipices and came up empty handed. I certainly wish this resource existed when I was, ooooh, I dunno, somewhere between 9 and 34! This blog is/will be a safe space chock-full of strategies so you, my new (albeit faceless) BFF, can learn the what’s, why’s, how’s, and when’s that I, your future self (and new BFF with a face!) did to sustain my weight loss. And isn’t that the point?

Is it easy? No, silly! But you knew that already! But the good news? It’s doable! And yes, nearly 3 years later after first meeting home girl (my dietitian, keep up!) I’m still surprised that I lost any weight, let alone a whole hunnid pounds because why would she be any different than the other health care providers I met before her? But also, SCIENCE! AND BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION! AND UNLEARNING! AND MINDSET CHANGES! AND NEW PERSPECTIVES! AND MATURITY! AND MORE JOY! AND MORE SELF-LOVE AND SELF-CONFIDENCE! AND BEING ABLE TO WALK UP 5 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS BECAUSE WHY NOT?! AND NON-SCALE VICTORIES! AND NEGATIVE SELF TALK! AND SELF DOUBT! AND WHY IS THIS SO DAMN HARD?! I’ll be writing future posts about the aforementioned. But one thing at a time!

Lean in uncomfortably close because I have a secret or few:

• Because you lost weight before proves (hard, scientific levels of proof!) that you’re capable of doing it again!
• With a few tiny, consistent, sustainable tweaks, I’m confident you’re much, muuuch closer to long-term sustained weight loss- and all the joy, self-lovery and improved quality of life that you didn’t even consider– than you think!
• I’m not special. I mean, you’ve made it this far so you know I’m special, but to be clear: I am proof that long-term weight loss is possible for er’body. Do not think for nan second that I am an exception to the rule or create some magical story in your head that I am “different” than you are. I. Am. Not. Te lo juro que no lo soy, amigos! (Yes, yes I will be writing a blog post about negative self-talk because yes, I’m low-key clairvoyant and know that you already thought I’m different. OK, so I’m not clairvoyant but did you not read this labor of love, and it was an entire labor, do you hear me?! Have you not learned that I’m not new to this, I’m true to this?! I know how you think, tink tink!

And while I’m not Mrs. Cleo’s long-lost girl child (not the best example because she was obviously a fake, but just roll with me on this one), I assure you of this: You can lose weight. And you can keep it off. One tiny little micro-step in front of the other. So kudos to your for taking one step (be it the first, 10th or 129,374th!) and getting more info to learn how you can AND WILL succeed! (And where are my manners?! Shalom! Welcome! Bienvenido! Willkommen! Wamkelekile!)

I so look forward to sharing my health and wellness journey with you and practical lessons I learned along the way (and learned, and then actually learned because I didn’t pay enough attention to it or thought I learned it the first time but really it turned out the first 3-107 times were just dress rehearsals for which I was terribly unprepared! So… you’re welcome?)! But this isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and I’ll be sharing that too because why show up if I don’t do it as my whole, authentic self?! Brace yourself for hard truths (there’s nothing knew under the sun so the good news is you know them already!) or things you don’t want to hear because conquering this obesity beast is not for the faint of heart, mkay? I am so eager to cheer you on on your way to an even more successful, awesome, amazing, wonderful, healthier, happier, joyful you!

I’m here to be of service to you, so don’t be shy! Leave a comment and/or shoot me an email at [email protected] to say hi, let me know I’m not talking to myself in the abyss that is the interwebs, and get your questions answered! What are you most eager to read about? Let me know and I’ll get to getting!