Claiming Certainty: Empowering My Life by Revising My Speech
There are three things this season that I am surrendering, that I am actively working to remove from my vocabulary because they have no home in my home, in my heart.
- “I think…”
- “finally”
- “I don’t know.”
1. “I think…”
I have found that whenever I say “I think” I mean, really and truly I mean, “I know” with certainty. And every once in a while I believe but most certainly when I say “I think…” Like “I think it’s going to rain today.” What I really mean is “I actually caught a part of the weather report or I saw an alert on my computer and I am certain that they mentioned that there is a 90% chance of rain.”
When I say “I think” I mean “I know” but I’m downplaying what I know because… Because that’s what women are taught to do! But I don’t want to downplay myself when I know with strong confidence and absolute certainty that what I am saying is true. So no longer will I say I think and if you hear me speaking and you hear me say “I think”, rest assured, give me a breath and 9/10– okay, maybe 8/10– I am going to correct my language and simply start the sentence again. Instead of “I think it’s going to rain today,” I’ll say “hey, by the way, it’s gonna rain today.” I might even share how I know like “Hey, by the way, bring an umbrella because there’s a 90% chance of rain.”
No longer will I hide my knowing in doubt. No longer will I shroud it in doubt like a bride covered by her veil. No, I want to be seen. I want the truth that is in me to be exposed to the light because truth is light and it dares not hide. Truth exposes and when I expose parts of myself, more of me can be seen, much like the house on a hill.
2. “Finally”
The second thing that I’ve stopped saying is “finally”. I have come to realize that what I really mean is I’m judging myself but I don’t want to say that I’m judging myself, but this one small breath of a word encapsulates all of the judgment that I need without actually saying that I’m being judgey.
“I finally bought a comforter after the last one, the white one, the oversized one that I thought would be dainty and beautiful. Well after I burned it in the dryer, I finally replaced it.” Rather than focusing on the amount of time it took me to replace it, I am choosing instead to focus on the good. To focus on my good. To give myself credit where credit is due because it was a fight. I had to fight with myself to decide that I am in fact worthy of a comforter that does not have burns. Worthy of a comforter that fits my bed as comfortably as jelly fits in a peanut butter sandwich.
3. “I don’t know.”
I got plenty of practice as a child becayse my mother would say, “Don’t tell me you don’t know because you do!” But when she said it, it wasn’t meant as a compliment. I felt a hint of disdain and judgment when she said. But when I say now what I mean “I really don’t know but what I know is I actually do!
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Embracing Truth: The Spiritual Path to Self-Knowledge and Divine Guidance
In order for me to have truth, to know truth, to meet truth, I must first be truthful with myself! And in truth, I know what the next best step is. I know what my next best step is. How? Because I know God!
In 12 Step programs, God is “good orderly direction”. I know God when I come to stillness. And so rather than me flippantly saying, “I don’t know” when someone asks me a question or when I ask myself a question, instead, I choose to come to silence and to stillness and to be quiet and to listen.
Because when we listen, we hear. When things are moving too fast around us, when my mind is racing too quickly, and my thoughts are trying to keep up, I cannot hear. I cannot hear God’s voice in chaos. I cannot hear God’s voice unless there is stillness.
So, “Be still and know that I am God” and what I am saying is, I need to be still to know.
Beyond Words
This isn’t just about word choice. It’s about shaping my environment where my self-expression and self-worth are enhanced. It’s about creating a personal and communicative space that allows my to live more authentically. It’s about speaking and becoming more in alignment with my beliefs and knowledge. It’s about speaking about myself like how God speaks about me. It’s about knowing that everything I need and want, I already am. It’s about divine intuition. It’s about clarity and confidence. It’s about how I perceive myself, and how I want and demand others see me, too. It’s about reclaiming my power. It’s about healing from shame and self and societal judgment. It’s about affirmations. It’s about replacing self criticism with loving truth and affirmation. It’s about wisdom. It’s about evolution, maturity, growth, and God.
I am Worthy
I must retire to bed because I am tired. I am worthy of sleep. I am worthy of rest.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
God, I think you that in you I can rest. In you are wonder and joy and amazement and pleasure, in your faithfulness ever more.