You may want a lil more context before diving into this post, so check out part 1 here.
The Wounds We Don’t See: Chronicles of Emotional and Spiritual Healing
And despite so much fullness and love and joy and peace, my heart is also broken for the ones who have not yet seen the light. The ones who are fighting and wrestling with the voices in their head. The ones who need help, but are not yet willing to accept it. And the only thing required in healing truly is the willingness to be healed. If someone has a gash in their leg, but they won’t let anyone clean it or examine it, or touch it. That gash will eventually become necrotic, the wound will eventually fester and become worse. And not only will the wound itself become worse, but every tissue surrounding the wound will become worse and so what started as a gash when left untreated for too long, will become necrotic the tissue itself will begin to kill the surrounding tissue, too. Simply because there was one part that died that was left untreated.
At some point in order to heal or save a person they have to make the decision. Will you eventually allow somebody to treat the necrotic wound on your leg? You can clean out the wound aka debridement. (I observed that procedure when I worked in the operating room.) Yes, it can require surgery! Or if the untreated wound becomes really damaged when debridement isn’t an option, then amputation is to save the rest of your body. (I observed that when I worked in the OR, too!)
Emotional wounds are no different than physical ones– unaddressed wounds don’t heal. Which, side note, is why the old adage “time heals all wounds” is so incredibly foolish. That was not never true, people! WAKE UP!
Sure, the wound may have started small but that one small emotional wound festers when we don’t address it and it’s not that it needs to be fully healed in order for it to no longer bother you, but it does need to be addressed. Have somebody examine it. Tell you what condition it’s in. Is soap and water enough or is the wound so deep do you need running alcohol? How sharp was the object you cut yourself with? Do you need topical or IV antibiotics or even a tetanus vaccine booster? Do you need a bandaid or stitches and Tegaderm dressing??
It’s so simple to think of it like that when it comes to our physical wounds, but somehow when it comes to our emotional or spiritual or financial or all the other -als– the ones that we cannot see, but that still exists!– we’re remiss to think of them the same way. I get that I can’t see you bleeding emotionally, but I can tell by the emotional pain you’re in. Somehow those seem untouchable when that couldn’t be farther from the truth!
So yes, my heart is full with all of the love that I have to give and also receive from those dynamos that I serve. And conversely, my heart is also broken for those who are not yet ready to receive the help to address their wounds.
I just barely made my yoga class at 630. I got there at 6:32 and the instructor was closing the doors as I was sauntering down the hallway. By the skin of my teeth, I was able to attend the class and next to me was this phenomenal, beautiful, radiant Black woman. Because obvs she gotta be because sis is committed to wearing lipstick to yoga, even in 108℉/ 42℃ rooms! “How are your clients?” she asked me with deep care. She knows I’m a registered nurse at a detox center. And I looked at her, sighed, thinking about how to respond. Your body knows when some people are safe. “You know this was a really hard week. I had to call 911 on a client. Most are doing good and getting better.” She thanked me profusely for the work that I do. “There’s no place else I’d rather be!” She told me that it takes a special kind of person. She understands why I practice yoga and I told her I find myself oftentimes dedicating my yoga practice to my clients. Sending them the energy that I know that they need, but that they may not yet have. It wasn’t until the tail end of the conversation that she told me one of her children could be one of my clients. So she understands from a very different, equally intimate point of view why it is that I do the work that I do and when I say there’s no place else I’d rather be which is so true.
Even staring down a client who’s telling me that she’s fighting the devil, I can still say with strong confidence there was no place else that I’d rather be and I can also say with strong confidence I wasn’t even scared when she said it. Because I know the God of all creation, of all heaven and earth and all people, and he made her, too. And then if God can do a work in me and make me a new creature, he can do that for her, too. I’ve done some hard things. I have accomplished some things I (very wrongly) knew were impossible. And yet somehow staring the devil in its face I wanted to scoff and say “Really? You think that I would be scared of that? Not chance not even.
So yes, my heart is full and it’s also broken.
I don’t have a cute bow to put on top to wrap this one up. but I do know that the same way that I’ve managed through this week with peace and joy in calm is the same way that I will continue forward, upward and onward.
I’ll end with two things:
- If you pray to God as you unnastand him/her/they/it/yourself, please pray for me, my clients, my coworkers, and management team. We’re doing hard heart work and if you can’t add to our paychecks, at least add to our petitions! Most notably, please pray for our abundance of safety.
- That “forward” part that I just mentioned reminded me of the Forward sticker and other goodies I just bought from new bestie in my head and fellow dynamo over at Oh Happy Dani. Check out and support this dope Black artiste here: https://shop.ohhappydani.com/collections/stickers/products/forward-sticker
PS- Didn’t read part 1 yet? No worries boo boo, I got you! Check it out here.