Fulfillment is on the other side of work. Fulfillment does not come to us. We have to go work to get it. LeBron James wouldn’t be LeBron James if he just talked about playing basketball. He’s LeBron James because he actually plays basketball.
Here I am, in my bed… I saw a tragedy waiting to happen—uneaten tomato chunks and sauce flying everywhere, including on my sheets and comforter. Noooo! Anywho, the blood on my mattress and the impending doom of tomato sauce on my sheets got me thinking, ‘What is it about the color red? Surely there must be a sacred secret lurking about, something to do with the blood of Jesus!’ And then, I explored it. The blood of Jesus was never meant to be easily washed away. It was meant to stay—to cover us, protect us, and remind us of a love so deep that it could not be removed.
I often use these two terms interchangeably, but the truth is, they’re distinctly different, though closely related. I don’t know why now, but I do know that now is the time I needed to quiet and answer this persistent, ongoing search. Exploring them here brings me a sense of clarity. And who doesn’t love that?!
Sometimes in life, things may seem— to you—disconnected and unrelated. So disjointed. But that is to you. To Me, your life is a puzzle. I see the end and have given you the pieces. The more you seek Me, the more you see Me. The more you see Me, the more pieces you place in the puzzle.
Help me not be like Isaac who ran. Help me stand tall, firm, confident. Give me courage to do Your will, Your work—faith and work. Help me work, oh God! Not nurse work, but deep inner personal work.
The truth is also simple, though: I am now who I once needed. I didn’t post or share my blog because I first needed to practice being courageous. To say the things I need to say without worrying whose eyes are reading what I’m saying. This blog is my heart on the screen! It’s my deepest prayer, darkest valleys, greatest hopes. It’s sharing my deep longings that yet remain to be fulfilled. This past year has been a practice run of can I really do it? Can I say the things?
Hearing is passive. It’s the unintentional act of sound simply existing around us. We hear because we’re alive, because sound waves touch our ears. But in the chaos of hearing, we often miss the beauty and depth of truly connecting with the voices that matter. Conversely, listening is more than the words washing over us. Listening is about diving deeply into the ocean of another’s expression, whether it’s a loved one’s heartfelt story or the quiet whisper of our own inner voice.
I, along with two Black women—one with 20 years of experience and another with over 20—were all pushed out. We were forced into silence. Our voices didn’t matter to those who had the power to hear them. As a Black woman in Amerikkka, I’ll say this: Black and Brown women are often fired for no longer being a “culture fit.” Interesting, isn’t it? We were hired because our excellence preceded us, and yet months or years later, we’re no longer a fit? If (White) folks were truthful with themselves first and with others, are Black and Brown women not a “culture fit,” or are you simply racist or prejudiced?
It takes courage to walk. And despite the fear we may feel, may we not be consumed by it or become it, but may we feel it AND be comforted while we move forward and WALK.
