When Rest Becomes Holy: Following My Heart’s Deepest Longing

For the last several months, I’ve participated in the Shalem Institute’s Heart Longings program. It has gifted me something sacred—a beautiful, deeply relaxed, welcoming space to simply be myself. To be with others who seek truth and seek God. Who seek love and seek peace.

Souls who carry questions—big ones. The biggest of which is this:

What does your heart long for?

I don’t know if I had a specific answer when we first began—six, eight, maybe even nine months ago.

But if you asked me now?

My heart longs for rest.

Divine rest. Restorative rest. Peaceful rest.
Rest so deep and full that only God can meet me there.
No—that only God does meet me there.

Rest so pure and so gentle and so beautiful that it replenishes my soul.
No—no, it speaks to my soul, replenishes my body, and renews my mind.

That is the rest that I long for.
That is my heart’s longing.

And the thing about longings…
Well, the thing about my heart’s longings is what I know to be: God.

Why rest? Welp, here are my written reflections from today’s session:

Baby, I’m tiiiiiiiiiired. We’re supposed to be in nature/ outside for 30 minutes, but the way my exhaustion is set up, Imma get in my bed and meditate on the beauty of outside that I’ve experienced and invite it to carry me to sleep. Amen?

30 minutes and 1 nap later:

12:05. And so it was indeed. I was “distracted” by my phone for a few minutes, with no energy or effort to move. I simply leaned my head back on my chair.
I listened to the bird song for a few minutes, and sure enough, sleep soon greeted me. My eyes shot open at 12:04, just a minute before we were slated to return. Others were on screen. Am I late? What did I miss? I checked the volume on my computer. It was already up.

I was greeted by silence and on-screen instructions inviting us to reflect.

Funny how, even after 42 years, even after all these years, I still think it must be I who did something wrong. God, help me write a new story to replace the old one— the story others used to make me feel about myself that You surely never did.

I am enough. I have enough. I am always where and how I’m supposed to be.

I listen to the world around me and the world within me. There is beauty around me and within me. I listen, and I don’t judge. Thank You, God, for the bird song—reminding me, calling me, inviting me to listen and to notice.

And so this is what I’m learning:
Sometimes the deepest kind of rest comes not from doing less,
but from surrendering more.
To God.
To the moment.
To the whisper that says,
You’re already held.
You’re already home.

Amen.

Come Home to What Your Heart Longs For

If rest is your heart’s longing too, I’d be honored to walk with you toward it.

That longing is holy. And you don’t have to navigate it alone.

As a behavioral health registered nurse, coach, and Child of the Most High, I hold sacred space for transformation that honors both your humanity and your divinity—
a space where rest, healing, and wholeness can begin.

You are worthy now. Not someday. Not “when things settle.” Now.

Feeling the pull?

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