True beauty isn’t and can’t be bought, it must be created. From the inside out. From the God within to the flesh without. From the spiritual to the physical.
Our glow isn’t manufactured—it’s made. It’s created. It’s worked for. It’s earned. It simply is. And for moi, my beauty reflects the boundaries I maintain, the discernment I honor, and the God within who’s been guiding me every step of the way.
The joy on that bench? Protected.
The peace floating in that water? Chosen.
The softness by that fountain? Cultivated.
The fear on that zipline? Released.
And beauty? It emerges from the boundaries I honor.
I won’t bury the lead as I sometimes do: It’s not possible to live well without boundaries. AKA boundaries help us live fulfilled and beautiful!
I’m back from a beautiful, deeply relaxing vacation in Guanacaste, Costa Rica which I had to fight to come on. And I mean personally—I had to fight with myself when planning previous vacations that led me to taking this one, to do so comfortably without guilt or shame. I had to challenge myself to first find my values, and then to interrogate them: Do I really believe I don’t deserve a stunning, high-end vacation? How do I want to spend my money? Intentionally on what replenishes me—like on this vacation—or haphazardly buying random ish compulsively on Amazon?
Ummm… Yeah, the choice is simple! I’m going on a fulfilling vacation! How much was I spending on Amazon, exactly?? I audited the numbers. I examined my thoughts and feelings. Why is it that I get super excited when I see an Amazon box on my doorstep but feel a twinge of disappointment when I open the package? I started to despise the weekly Amazon purchases. I created a new boundary for myself: before hitting the “buy now” button, wait 24 hours to discern if I really need it or if I’m trying to fill a void. Or, as we call it in 12 Step programs, the God-sized hole. A hole that only God him/herself can fill.
Consequently, I started saving more. And intentionally. Where my attention goes, my energy flows. I started paying big attention to my money and began asking myself: how do I want to use this money that I’ve worked so hard for? All the early mornings and late nights. The discomforts. The growing pains. The challenges with coworkers and managers and and those I serve. And myself. How do I want this money to serve me, instead of me serving it??
The answer was easy and swift: more international vacations!
Intention is cute. But how do I execute that? By putting a safety fence around what I created. To keep it safe from the inside out and the inside out. To protect it from from others and from me, too.
So when negotiating a nedw job offer and they told me I couldn’t go on the vacations I’d already planned, I declined the offer. It looks like me telling my manager, who calls on my personal phone instead of my work cell phone, that when I’m on vacation, I don’t want him to be offended or surprised when I don’t answer—because I won’t.
I create boundaries by asking my current self what I need and asking my future self what she’ll need, too. Because future me has the gift of hindsight. I practice visualization to do it— I mentally transport myself to the future vacation to experience what would make me happy. And the answers are as clear as day. And then, I honor them. I put them in place.
Yes, I could’ve called to confirm before I left. But why?? One of my nurses said it best—
“What’re you going to do in an emergency? Fly back from wherever you are?? It’ll already be done! It’ll already be over. No, enjoy your time off!”
For the new job offer it was: preserving my time away to renew and recharge. For my manager it was: if you text or call, I won’t respond. For myself it was, with the encouragment of my backup nurse: while I’m on vacation, I trust my team will do what must be done in my absence.
My beauty is…
- A reflection of the joy and the sacred yese I’ve given myself and the sacred no’s I had to give to others to maintain it.
- Something that I had to work to accept about myself. From being made to feel I was ugly by loved ones because of my weight (but babes, puhlease let it be known I was fine at every size!) to accepting that I am made in God’s image and likeness, and I am beautiful. Thanks, genetics, thanks to mom and dad, thanks to me for working to be even more fully myself, and of course God who made me in His—Her!—image.
That’s the thing about boundaries—they don’t simply protect your peace. They protect and reveal your beauty. They make room for it to rise, unbothered, unbent, and fully seen.
This vacation, this joy, this glow? It didn’t come from striving. It came from surrender. From intention. From listening to the God in me who said, ” Daughter, this world is yours to enjoy—and so is this peace, too. You, like Me, are radiant. You are light.”
It’s amazing what boundaries do for you, and your beauty.
A Prayer for Beauty and Boundaries
God,
Thank You for showing me that boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges. They lead me back to myself. To You. To peace.
Help me say no with love, and yes with clarity. Remind me that rest is divine and revolutionary. Remind me to choose joy. To protect what You’ve planted and what will inevitably harvest.
Not everything deserves my energy. Not everyone is worthy of access to me. Because I’m Yours—and that means I’m already enough.
Give me wisdom to find where the boundary is. Give me courage to hold it. And give me grace when I forget.
May my boundaries bless—not just me, but everyone connected to me. And may they reflect the beauty, power, and freedom that comes from walking with You. And so it is. It is done. Amen!
Let’s Build Boundaries That Bless—Together
You are worthy now. Not when life’s “perfect” because spolier: it won’t ever be!
If you’re ready to create sacred boundaries, walk in alignment with God’s purpose, and embody joy without guilt and shame—I’d be honored to walk with you.
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Let’s create something beautiful—together.
