My Dearest Reader,
Imagine saying say “yes!'” to everyone but yourself. Imagine saying yes to things you want to say no to. Imagine hiding from your own feelings. Imagine playing hide and seek with yourself… But you’re only hiding. Imagine the world of hurt that must exist within someone who does that. What they’d look like and feel like. How they”d move in the world. How they’d exist. How they’d refuse to take up space. How they’d play small. Imagine how badly they must be hurting, numb themselves with their drug of choice.
Anything can be addictive, you know… Did you actually know?? And by addictive, all I mean is it was once good/ helpful/ “normal” (I hate that word, btw, can we use “typical” or perhaps even “expected” or maybe even “appropriate” instead?) but now it’s in the extreme and it’s become compulsive. You can’t control it. Well, you can but you aren’t yet. Hence, it’s compulsive.
Sugar. Salt. Prescription medications. Over the counter medications. Self sabotage. Alcohol. Coffee. Amazon Prime. People pleasing. Anger. Rage. Underbeing. Time blindness. Raggedy people. Poor choices. Social media. Netflix. Sex. Porn. Eating nail files. (I just had to throw that one in to see if you’re still awake! Have you seen TLC’s My Strange Addiction?!)
For me, I don’t have to imagine what that world was like. I don’t have to imagine because that was once my way of life. Picture this: Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, April 2017. Literally, here are the pictures:
That was my life! I don’t have to imagine all of those things because that was it for me. Putting people above myself. The remedy for people pleasing is, ironically, what they’ll tell you is “selfish”. When you do more for yourself than you do for others, the people who benefited from you breaking your back will tell you that you’re being selfish, failing to see, hear, small or taste the irony of their words, when you (finally!) begin to tend to your broken back like you did to their preferences.
One thing for certain, and two things fo’ sho’:
What I know now with absolute certainty that I didn’t know then is that I was courageous AF! (AF here obviously means “as fart” because I ain’t wanna cuss but I did wanna get my point across 😂). April 2017 was the month when it all changed. Correction: when I changed it all. The month I committed for real for real to do the impossible… AGAIN. To try again. To do again. Because I had nothing to lose. Nothing as in not one thing! And having nothing to lost is the best time to do it. What’s less than nothing?! Negative, and babes, if you already in the negative, you might at well throw a hail Mary at the play and see if it works out!
So I did, and I did it skeptically. I was skepticism personified! (And some days, I still am!) But I wouldn’t have used that word then. I would’ve said something like I’m a “realist” or perhaps “cautiously optimistic”, although there was very little optimism, less than 10%. And this is where God meets us.
⏸️ Side note: God as you understand him.
Before I can finish the above italicized thought, an important aside: This isn’t to say that God as I know him will meet you. Rather, God as you understand him will meet you. Whether you call God God, Spirit, Universe, Nature, Father, or a playful, fun name like Doodle, just know that God will meet you. Whatever you call him, however you know him. Or maybe you don’t use male pronouns and prefer she or they or something else. That’s not my business or anyone else’s! Just know that your parent’s God isn’t your God, it’s theirs! Unlike my game of hide and seek, when I sought God, I found him… Big time! I refer to God as he/ him, so revise for youself as needed.
▶️ Resume playback
God meets us in our willingness. He’s the ultimate gentleman. He meets us in the work. When we work.
I need to go and apply to a lil jobby job so Imma end where I started:
So Within, So Without
Whatever we believe on the inside is from comes to be true on the outside, too. What we believe is mirrored in how we live our lives. We’ve heard it said in several different ways. Here are a few of my favs:
- When I believed I couldn’t, I didn’t.
- When I believed I could, I did.
- We reap what we sow. (And that’s on Bible!)
- Karma
- The law of attraction.
- You get what you give.
When life is life’ing and you don’t see God Goding, it can be overwhelming to think that you have the power to control… Well, you! It’s a hard truth to hear, especially when we aren’t living the life we want to live, but baaaayby, the worst news is sometimes the best news! When we feel powerless, just know we aren’t helpless or hopeless. I’m here to tell you that whatever hurts you can be cured. And that whatever wounded you doesn’t always have to hurt. Nurse or not, you do know that unaddressed wounds don’t heal. It’s the same for emotional and invisible wounds, too. This is about more than weight loss, this is about living life well. As you dream and envision it!
In speaking with a client about how to overcome barriers to live out her vision, she shared that when she’s “shy”, she knows that’s not her natural inclination. That’s not how she was created to live. And it’s not! How do I know, you ask? Because it’s right there in black and white for us to know how to live!:
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].
2 Timothy 1:7 AMP
Humans are gonna human. People are gonna people. Nonetheless, be confident that you can always, always, always change the direction of your life. Be confident that when you embrace the Divinity within you, it begins to reflect on the outside for you, too. How do I know? Because it’s my life story! And not just mine, but millions of others, too! If you want to read more about how to embrace your divinity or intuition to live better, drop your email in the pop-up on my website to download your free guide! In it, I share more my story and how I transformed my life by first transforming my mind, writing my vision, and not despising small beginnings, so you can, too! It includes everything you need to get you going. For each of the 8 things I needed to thinking differently about to sustain my physical (as well as spiritual and emotional transformation!), I included:
- rationales/ explanations,
- Bible verses,
- action steps/ SMART goals,
- journal prompts, and of course
- the sciences to support it all.
Happy reading, writing and above all, working, and drop me a comment below or shoot me an email and let me know how the truth, wisdom, and humor in the guide helped you transform your life!
XO,
Your fav registered nurse + coach,
Joval Webbe, MAT, MSN, RN
PS– Curious about all those letters behind my name? They mean I’m credentialed and licensed and I have the student loan debt to prove it. It means I’m not just saying what I want hoping for the best, but that I’m walking the walk and talking the talk! It means that I have the lived experience and two master’s degrees– one in teaching and one in nursing– and a registered nurse license to further “prove” that I really am committed to this transformation, healing, recovery life. Isn’t everyone?! Isn’t that what we’re seeking?? To do, work, become, be better?? Information has never been more readily available to us, and neither has misinformation. It pains me to see the mass amounts of misinformation, so use me as your go-to resource for knowledge, truth, and wisdom. I became a nurse to help guide you live the life God created, called, and purposed you to lead. To help you so you won’t fall through the crack– err, chasm!– like I nearly did. Somebody has to help you and it obviously won’t be the healthcare providers talking ’bout some “eat less, move more” foolishness. As if that ever worked for anyone! 🙄 I am here to help you wade through the misinformation and give you the information you need, that you already know. I am here to help you live better. To help you begin to trust that still, small voice inside you.
How do I do that? Through coaching! I offer one on one, small group, and yes, even voice memo pocket coaching for all the fellas, ladies, aunts and uncs whose schedules are a lil too full and flexible to schedule a session! When I say I got you, I mean I got you got you! Schedule your brief consultation here.
PPS- In case you don’t know what I look like now (not like it matters, but people are curious about what a 100 pound weight loss looks like, and understandably so), you can check out a side by side in this post so you can see my glow up from my trip to Mexico (Apr 2017) to now (Oct 2023). Prepare to be amazed… Or not, the choice is yours, and either way, I’m still amazing! 😘😜😂🤣
