I got a website developer to help me do some things. And she’s great! She’s a pleasure to work with. In passing, she suggested I have guest bloggers. I hadn’t even considered that. And it’s genius! It just makes sense. Amplify and empower. That’s low-key my MO. Or, at least, I want it to be. In one week, I had extended the invitation to 3 dynamic and diverse women to share their stories on my blog:
- One dynamo is a lover of words just like ya girl! She’s gonna write about forgiveness. “Not forgiving yourself will keep you stuck more so than not forgiving others.” It’s just like, why are you so loud?!
- An avid hiker will write about how practicing self-care by spending time engaging in activities she enjoys is as beneficial as pharmaceutical interventions aka taking a pill.
- Another dropped “loquacious” in regular convo so we know she’s not here to play. She’ll write about something about sacrifices we make while learning about divinity, theology, and becoming more yourself.
I think they’re committed now that I done wrote this post. They’d hate to make a liar out of me, ya know?! At least, so I hope! Time shall tell. Anywho…
I’ve been in isolation for quite some time.
First isolation because of quarantine. And then nursing school while quarantining. And although the silence looked the same from the outside, I soon shifted from silence as isolation (loneliness) to solitude (personal reflection and growth).
I’m ready to love and to be loved on by my community. And it’s also safe enough to do so in person again.
Which is why I facilitated the productivity workshop at Busboys and Poets in partnership with Valenciá De’La Clay-Bell of the GrowCery Garden and author of the G.R.O.W. Guide. You should know Valencia is a former middle school teacher and current doctoral student who struggled with reading in grad school, so she wrote this evidence-based practices guide to help you overcome the challenges she had to. The full title is G.R.O.W. Beyond Creative Barriers Productivity e-Guide: 100 Self-Paced Strategies.
I used her GROW Guide to anchor our discussion. I started us off with a question:
What’s one thing your bestie, mama, mentor or overall favorite person in the world would say they’re most proud of about you?!
For me, they’re most proud that I did something not many people have done. That I’ve not only lost the weight, but maintained it. And in so doing, I’m happy! I’m joyful, I’m open. I’m light, again. I used to spend my days in darkness, but I’m back. I returned to myself. I exchanged people pleasing for pleasing God and pleasing myself. A friend told me I remind him of this verse:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.”
Matthew 5:14-15 NIV
Cue jaw drop. Needless to say, it always all comes together when you let it.
Anywho, I’ll give you the first one of three things we discuss. Want the rest? Let me know in the comments and I”ll write about them in another post about them!
G: Get Clear & Confident
Valenciá De’La Clay-Bell
Of the 30-something strategies listed to help you get started before you even become productive, I selected 3 that we’d focus on.
G1: Describe Yourself.
But I don’t want you to see yourself as you see yourself, full of distrust, mistakes, failures. No no no! I want you to think about how your bestie would describe you and see yourself how they see you! With eyes wide of admiration, respect, love, adoration. (If ya’ll ain’t looking at your friends like that, then you may need new friends!) I used to see myself as the broken people saw me like they saw themselves: broken, hurt, ugly but only because I was “morbidly obese” because my feature always been fire! But I di-Jo. I had to train myself to see myself as God saw me. When I do, I immediately correct my posture, a soft smile is painted across my face and my heart softens like the butter I leave out on the kitchen counter so it’s easier to work instead of hardener butter that melts violently under the smashing or my impatient butter knife! Whew, sorry, was that too much?
G7: Purpose.
Whyyy exactly do you want to achieve your big hairy audacious goal? You better be clear on this because when it gets hard as it inevitably will, you gotta have something that keeps to anchored so you don’t drift away. Check my Instagram to see my 2017 vision board with 20+ reasons why I was committing to getting healthy. Months before I even changed one habit, I spent 3 months thinking about and writing why I wanted to get healthier. To connect to my own power. To get new ideas. To love myself. To feel good in mind, body, and spirit. To brighten my mind. To rest well. To increase stamina. To prove to myself I can do it for the long haul. Vanity– fit into cuter clothes. To challenge myself. I was right, it got hard but when I was at the fork in the road and decided if I was going to continue onward or return to what was familiar and kept me unhappy, I always chose to continue forward. Sometimes I rested, but I always continue.
G10: Stillness.
“Be still and know that I am God.” How do we come to know God? GOD?! Simple: come to stillness! So, I invited everyone to come to stillness. They chose one of the above and spend about 20 minutes thinking about their big hairy audacious goal while remembering that they’re as dope, fierce, relentless, loving, inspiring like their loved ones think of them. We move differently when we believe differently. Everything first begins with a though. Because I lost 100 lbs, I first had to lose 1 lb. And before I could lose 1 lb, I had the thought, a persistent, nagging one, by the way, that I could lose weight my way. By listening to that soft, quiet voice that I’d been taught to ignore. Sometimes it’s hard to daydream, but we must. It’s the fuel to our fire. I know what to do first when I can who I want to be and see how Joval of 10 years from now will be living. And then I’ll take a baby step in that direction.
My season of silence is over. I’m back outside! And I’m back whole, ready, prepared. A little scared, too, to be honest. Unsure. Anyime I’ve ever doubted myself, it’s my community that reminds me that I was created for such a time as this. It’s the impact I have when I show up in my purpose ready to serve and be who God created me to be. To help others live well by leading with our intuition.
Counter-cultural. That’s how our faith invites us to live. To trust that you’re more than your productivity. To trust that you can come to silence for 2 hours a day to get to become who you were created to be. And when you operate, live, create, and love in that space, your life is immediately transformed! It’s electrifying! It literally keeps me up at night. Ideas racing about what I get to do next because I know more of what you need. Because I can create. I can share my love in written works live this, in facilitating workshops.
Community reminds me that healing is bigger than we are. Healing it intergenerational. It’s about all the people connected to us who we will teach or who will want to engage in whatever good we’re engaging with so they’ll get the transformation we got. Healing isn’t only individual, it’s communal. It’s so your those connected to you are more well equipped than you were because you’re sharing your strategies and wisdom of your experiences. Sharing the behaviors and mindsets you had to fight to learn to get where you got– mature, fulfilled, peaceful, healed, transformed.
It could all be so simple. We don’t also have to struggle or suffer.
In only three weeks my client turned it all around. From spiraling out of control to living confidently. Three weeks changed her life! Maybe the Zach 4:10 was really onto something when it said “don’t despise small beginnings”. Simplicity can be profound, too.
So, I leave you with this this from my client (shared with permission):
P.S.- Did you find something useful in this post? The best way to show some love is to share it with someone you know who will, too! Spread the love and this post so they can get in on the productivity glow up goodness, too!
