Hi, my name is Joval, and today, I’m allowing myself to flourish in my imperfections.
Flourish?! Sometimes– okay, oftentimes!– I write and the words pour out of me… *Ahem*… Say it with me… In unison: Like the water out of a geyser!
I’ve said that because and Imma say it again and again and again and again! AND AGAIN!
When I co-write and co-create with the God who created the Heavens and the Earth and er’thing in it, I’m merely the vessel. Perhaps it sounds odd or strange or weird to any non-writers, or “non-creatives” (side note: we were all created by the Creator to create, so… CREATE ALREADY!!!), because there’s no greater Love than this: than to posture my heart and myself– hands on keyboard, mind empty-ish (though, to keep it a buck, there’s a Netflix show streaming in the bottom right corner of my screen on a superbly low volume because humanity). Aaaaanywho, I’m amazed because flourished isn’t the word III would’ve chosen, but tis true!
I post to my blog twice a week. Faithfully on Sunday mornings and Wednesday or Thursdays. Though, much like my faith, I don’t always do what I say Imma do when I say Imma do it despite my “best intentions”, and that’s on authenticity!) Why Wednesday or Thursday? It’s whenever the mood strikes, tbh. Whenever my Spirit moves me to? Heavy on the question mark, I simply can’t commit. Sometimes it depends on the post, how excited I am. Other times I think “I feel like I just posted, lemme give it another day!”
The point here, though, is I’m imperfect. It’s now the wee hours of Tuesday morning (2:13 am EST, to be exact), and while I could be sleeping, I’m not.
Instead, I’m taking a moment to honor my imperfections. To boldly (?!) say: did y’all know you could do something and do it imperfectly and it’s still gonna be okay?! The moon didn’t fall outta the sky. Neither the stars nor sun. My job is still jobbing. My breath is still breathing. My car is still running. My home is still a home. Everything is precisely how it was because WHO CARES IF I AIN’T POST ON SUNDAY?!
But also, I’m so stinking PROUD of myself!!! Proud. Not as in pride… As in something else that I still can’t quite put my finger on. I’ve been passively thinking about what word exactly I mean, but me nah find it yet!
So the lesson, for me at least, is this: Imperfect of man isn’t imperfect in God. Rather, to be perfect in God is to be imperfect by humans’ standards. Does that track?
This past week I posted on Sunday early evening. EVENING?! I didn’t die. No one died. I simply missed my own, self imposed posting schedule. This week, I missed Sunday all together.
This comes in very, veeeeey stark contrast from one month ago when I wrote and scheduled about 10 blog posts in advance of my trip to Jamaica. (which reminds me, post about said trip, but until then, here’s how I was living:)
The point here is, I can go from one extreme– posting in advance and not looking at my bloggy blog– to the other extreme of forgetting to post on a Sunday. And you know how I know I’mw growing in maturity and gentleness? I’m not even made about it!!!
Thanking God for Growth: A Prayer of Gratitude for Embracing Imperfection
God, thank You for answering my prayers! Thank You for helping me when I can’t help myself. Thank You for meeting Your Super with my very natural. Thank You that Your Ways are greater and bigger and higher and more beautiful and gentle and wiser than my own. Thank You that my “mistakes” are an opportunity to connect with You. Thank You that despite this itty bitty teeny weeny hiccup, there’s still nothing in this world that I can’t do! Thank You that despite this hiccup, this means nothing to anyone else and everything to me. Thank You that this hiccup is an invitation to show myself that I can miss my own expectations, fall short of my own goals and hopes and dreams and visions, but this oooone time over the last several months means… Well, it still speaks to my ability to do the very thing I thought I couldn’t! Thank You God that my mistake reveals Your goodness in me. God, thank You that in our imperfections we find You! Thank you that in our imperfections, we are met by Your grace. Thank You that I really am growing, maturing, and becoming even more like You.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:5-7 NIV
Thank You that inwhat I perceive to be missteps and mistakes, You make all things work together for my good. Thank You for the good! Thank You for Your good, pleasing, and perfect will for my life. Thank You that no lesson is too big, too great, or too small.
