I was ready to be there for others, yet I struggled to extend that same courtesy to myself. Even the triage nurse at the ER advised me to ‘phone a friend,’ recognizing that I needed support beyond medical assistance. However, my initial response was to decline, not wanting to burden anyone with my problems or be perceived as a nuisance.
My neurodivergence is one of my many superpowers. It gifts me the opportunity to think at lightening speed, moving as quickly as a bullet train. So fast that sometimes I can’t keep up. I’ve mostly stopped asking myself, ‘How did I get here? How did I arrive at this final place?’ Like a passenger on the bullet train, I have come to enjoy the ride of my own thoughts. To see where my thoughts will go, where they will take me. And it’s different now. So different! Now I direct my thoughts. I no longer let my thoughts direct me and determine my feelings. I have trained myself to think like God thinks. I have trained myself to speak to myself like how God speaks about me.
Among a group of people I don’t even know and had just met, I heard myself say, ‘You’re standing among divinity. Yes, we are all divinity personified, but ya’ll, I’m amazing! I am divine!’ I wasn’t arrogant. It wasn’t cocky. It was a kernel of truth. The words flew out of my mouth like water flows from a waterfall—organic, natural, supremely true. This confidence, I’m sure, comes from the affirmations I’ve been writing and saying and singing and praying.
“Hi, my name is Joval.” Now, I rarely share the name story at work with my clients because it feels too personal, so I repeat my name or I spell it for my clients. And each and every one of my clients—100%, 10/10, all of them have remembered my name and the correct, accurate, precise pronunciation. Not only do they remember my name, but they pronounce it correctly, too! There’s this special love that exists in this sacred space where I work. My clients see me, respect me, and even tell me they love me. This space has shown me the profound impact of embracing my identity and the power of a name.
Between my full-time job as an addictions nurse and attending 12 Step Meetings to surrender my sinful behaviors to God, I am exhausted. Tired. Weary. Social media’s relentless push for change and self-improvement only adds to the overwhelm. But amidst the chaos, I’ve had yet another a profound spiritual awakening. By embracing my divinity, I’ve discovered inner peace and strength. This thing called life isn’t only about recovery and transformation; it’s about truly living and *being*. Join me as I explore the powerful transformation from addiction to spiritual wholeness.
I logged onto Facebook to find that a college peer passed away, thrusting me into a sudden reflection on our shared mortality. This piece dives into the raw beauty and unpredictability of Mother Nature, urging us to savor each kiss of sunshine and every fleeting smile. It demands us questioning how we choose to fill the numbered days of our one precious life, challenging us to a legacy of bold and intentional living. Above all, it calls us to recognize and elevate the Light within ourselves and others, to live not just with potential, but with purpose.
“When I say ‘I think’ I mean ‘I know’ and I’m downplaying what I know because… Because that’s what women are taught to do! But I don’t want to downplay myself when I know with strong confidence and absolute certainty that what I am saying is true. No longer will I hide my knowing in doubt. No longer will I shroud it in doubt like a bride covered by her veil. No, I want to be seen. I want to shine!
This post uncovers the truth behind the façade of fearlessness, revealing my personal struggles with fear, self-doubt, and “imposter syndrome” as a Black woman and registered nurse. It captures the essence of overcoming deep-seated fears through faith and small, consistent steps, illustrating how these challenges have shaped my transformative journey. Discover how embracing vulnerability and acknowledging challenges lead to profound personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Explore the journey of becoming who we are meant to be, armed with courage and authenticity.
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