I feel… Overwhelmed. So much to do, so little time. So here I am, choosing to slow down with God so I may speed up, with Him, too.
My 6/25/24 3:35p journal entry
I’m rereading my 2WP (God’s Guidance: Discovering Divine Love and Wisdom in Prayer) and am 🤯. It’s oh so very FULL!!! “Be still and know…” fi true! My gawsh! I could and should (???) start a blog series just on this one 2WP.
Line by line. Let’s go through it… On my computer because time’s a’ticking. Let me get it all out!
Thank you God for oh so very quickly hearing and answering me. I really does love you!
And now, here I am. On my computer, eager to discuss all the things. Or, at least some of them until it’s time for me to go to work.
It’s been a while since I’ve analyzed anyone’s writing, let alone my own. Here are the things that jump out at me: I feel so confused… Guard my heart… Wisdom and discernment… Heal my broken heart. Restore it.
God’s Deep Care: Analyzing Divine Guidance in Prayer
There’s nothing too big for God. Remember the jelly bean contests from back in the day? For me, it was in elementary and middle school. The teacher would put jelly beans in a jar and whoever guessed the closest amount won the jar. It was Price is Right style though, so you could be under but were eliminated if you went over. Ha!
Well, God’s like the Ultimate jelly bean jar guesser. He’s not guessing how many hairs we have on our heads, he actually knows. Do you know how much care and love that offers us? That He cares about me and all the little, inconsequential things so much He’s just like, oh yeah, Joval has 238405883 hairs on her head! (Does that include baby hairs, too?! But I di-Jo.)
And so here I am worried about feeling confused and the God who knows the precise number of hairs on my head is prob like “Hey Silly Billy, I got you! Haven’t I always?” To which I respond, “Uummm yeah, buuut can You get me sooner?! I’m not trying rush you or anything but if you wanted to do exactly what I had wanted You to do for me quicker, that’d be real cool, too!” 🤣 Raise your hand if you laugh at yourself and take great delight in your own antics! 🙌🏾 🙋🏾♀️ It’s one thing to think it in my head, but to see it on the screen is simply next level buffoonery! 😭😭😭
I know God cares about me because He cares about the wild flowers in the fields and the birds chirp to give Him glory and create a euphony (like cacophony but actually pleasant– don’t worry, I didn’t know that word either!).
And so, I know what I can ask God for. Which, spoiler: is whatever the heck I want! If your bae wrote a list of all the things you love in the world and held them near and dear to his heart, best believe that that same bae would LOVE nothing more than you running to him with each and er’ question or desire. There’s no greater desire than a parent fulfilling the needs of their child. God’s no different! One of the many things I learned this past year is that whatever I’m bold and courageous enough to ask God for, trust and believe He gone give it to me! Perhaps not exactly when I want it, or even how, but Imma get it! He’s going to prepare me for receiving the thing I ask for. He might even change my desire in the wait. Or He might even… Wait for it… And this happens often… Exceed my hopes, dreams, and expectations! But better believe that He hears and sees and knows er’thing I want. Like I said when I cohosted the Woman Evolve podcast with NYT Bestseller and Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts, “a sigh is good enough for God”! So even when I can’t articulate my hopes, dreams, and desires, the God who created me and dwells in me absolutely knows what they already are.
K, back to this 2WP. Back to the breakdown and there’s so much to breakdown, mmmkay? Or perhaps, build right on up!
Next thing up that struck me as I reread my words? Confused is you being! Don’t question your emotions, honor them! See with my Light of clarity. You are not confused, my love. You are noticing. Seeing. Feeling. Discerning. Trust.
Baaaby, lemme tell you something. God don’t play about me. You hear me?! He don’t play about meeee!!! Sometimes I play tew much but God ain’t never in ma life played about me, and not with me either. What does that mean, most especially for those of you who don’t know me know me and have just read my words but can’t hear this in my voice and tone? Lemme splain:
Babes, God wants and neeeeeeds us to not get it twisted. We, in our great and fragile and incorrect humanity oftentimes view the world as binary. WROOOOOOONG! Binary would make er’thing easy peasy lemon squeezy but that ain’t what it is!
Imagine for a moment, if we pretended that two things that were closely related were opposites. Imagine that I paid my $170,000+ student loans off until I had $1,000 left (BLESS IT LORD!). Now continue to imagine if I pretended that the $1,000 balance was identical to $0, meaning the loan was fully paid off. For anyone who knows anything about loans, baby, the way that interest rate would gobble up the $1,000 and turn it into $10,000 if left unpaid?! And what if, in my silliness, I called my student loan service provider and said “Hey, I don’t know why my loan balance is now $10k, I paid it off!” And they’d call me everything BUT a child of God and say, “No, you didn’t pay it off. You didn’t pay it to $0, you paid it to $1,000.”
Do you see?! Do you unnastand how, like our homegirl Brandy said it best: “almost doesn’t count!”
We muuuuust stop pretending and believing our emotions and our feelings are the same. THEY. ARE. NOT! Similar does not mean identical. Related does not mean the same! #wordsmeanthings
Embracing Emotional Wisdom: Distinguishing Between Emotions and Feelings
In our (inner) world, two key players shape our experiences: emotions and feelings. Though often used interchangeably, they have distinct meanings that profoundly impact how we navigate our lives.
Emotions are our body’s natural response to the world around us. They are deeply rooted in our biology and arise from changes in our neurophysiological state, often triggered by specific stimuli. These responses are universal—shared broadly across humanity and even observed in other creatures. Key emotions include fundamental states like joy, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust.
Feelings, on the other hand, are the personal interpretations of emotions shaped by our individual experiences, histories, memories, thoughts and beliefs. They are the personal soundtrack to the music of our emotions. Feelings are the subjective narrative we attach to our emotional responses. For instance, while one person may feel a soothing calmness during a rainstorm, relishing in the gentle tap of raindrops, another might experience a tense unease, perhaps a lingering echo of a past stormy fright.
In essence, emotions are the universal language of our bodies, reacting to the world in real time, often without our conscious input. Feelings are the personal stories we tell ourselves about what these emotions mean, crafted by our minds and shaped by our experiences and reflections. Understanding this distinction not only enriches our grasp of self but also enhances our empathy towards others, as we recognize the diverse landscapes of personal feeling that each individual navigates.
The rainstorm, with its orchestration of thunder and rhythmic pattering of rain, serves as a perfect illustration of how emotions and feelings interact. The storm itself symbolizes our emotions—universal, instinctual responses that naturally occur and are broadly shared. For some, the harsh clang of thunder might stir feelings of threat or unease, a reverberating reminder of nature’s unpredictable power, reflecting deeply personal interpretations of these emotions. Conversely, others might hear that same thunderous rumble and find it soothing, an invitation to unwind, relax, and find a moment of stillness amidst life’s chaos. These varied reactions, whether feelings of anxiety or peace, highlight the unique lenses through which we view our emotional experiences, shaped by our personal histories and emotional landscapes.
Now do you get it? Lemme back up, do I get it? (And I does!) Two things that are so close and similar are so uniquely their own! Brandy was right, “almost doesn’t count!” And imagine then how this impacts us in the broader sense, in every day life?! How one seemingly inconsequential event can “trigger” one person to have a viscerally strong reaction, where someone else is completely unbothered?
As I sit here, reflecting on the myriad ways God shows up in the details of my life, I am reminded of His ever-present love and wisdom. In my moments of confusion and overwhelm, He gently nudges me to see beyond the immediate, to trust in His grand design. Every prayer, every sigh, every laugh—He hears it all and responds with a love so profound, it often leaves me in awe. The beauty of God’s guidance lies in its simplicity and depth, urging us to slow down, be still, and recognize His hand in every aspect of our lives.
In these reflections, I find solace and strength. It’s a journey of learning and unlearning, of embracing the divine orchestration of our emotions and feelings. As I navigate this path, I am continuously reminded that God’s timing is perfect, His wisdom infinite, and His love unfailing. So, as I delve deeper into my writings and prayers, I invite you to join me in exploring the divine love and wisdom that guides us all. Together, let us uncover the profound truths that lie within our hearts and spirits, trusting that God is always there, guiding, loving, and holding us close.
Closing Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father, in the midst of our busy lives, we thank you for pause. We pause to acknowledge Your presence and thank You for Your unwavering love. Grant us the wisdom to discern Your guidance and the patience to trust in Your perfect timing. Thank You that love is patience. Grant us more of Your love– patient, kind, unwavering, perfect, beautiful, and divine. As we navigate the complexities of our emotions and feelings, help us to gain Your understanding and not lean on our own raggedy ways, knowing that You care for us deeply and gently. May we find comfort in Your promises and strength in Your love, embracing each moment with gratitude and faith. We cast our cares and surrender our worries to You, confident that You are always with us, leading us with grace and compassion. Thank You for what You’ve done and are doing for us and through us. Thank You that You’ve given us a spirit of power and not of fear. Thank You for empowering us to be courageous enough to face ourselves, our fears, and question our doubts with a sober mind. Thank You for grace and for self forgiveness. In Your holy, mighty, matchless name, we pray. And so it is. Amen.
Explore More Two Way Prayers
New to two way prayer and curious about this uniquely intimate conversation with God? Read Transformative Recovery: Divine Love and Grace to Overcome Addiction where I explain it.
Want to explore more two way prayers? Read my 2WPs by clicking on the hyperlinked twowayprayer on the right in the list of categories.
