12/26/23
I met a few phenomenal Black women at the silent retreat I attended– though experienced is a far more accurate!– in November, the theme of which was Let Go and Let God. Two Black women in particular. They are God personified! God in action! They continually challenge and love me to let go and let God and I’m so grateful for them.
So in speaking with them during one of our Phenomenal Black Lady Outings, we talked about how before we look ahead to the new year, we ought to spend time celebrating all of our accomplishments from this year. Before we move forward, how about we spend some time relishing our accomplishments and successes from this year?! Like, duh! Yes, of course!
These are from the minor to the major leagues to the hall of fame… For me. You might read this list and say “Really? Dassit? That’s all you got?!” YES! This is my everything. This is from the pages of my journal. Written from my heart. Written in my communion with God. My God. All that to say this is a judgment free zone. This is me celebrating… Well, me! Celebrating what I accomplished and succeed with God. Celebrating all the wins because no accomplishment is too small. This is me leading by example. Simply put, this is me!
As you read these, I hope you reflected back on your 2023, too. All the challenges you’ve overcome, roadblocks you unblocked, victories won, defeats defeated. Defeats that defeated you, even.
Because the reality is it isn’t always “good”, right? I realized very quickly in my first clinical nurse job that when the oncoming nurse asks “How was your night?”, I was answering… Um… “wrong.”. Because to me, life is always good! Regardless of the not good things, I choose to find and focus on the good. I choose to see the good in everything. Why?:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8 NIV
No, I’m not being delulu (what the kids are now calling delusional), but I am rewiring my brain to see the good and beauty in everything instead of the bad. What we focus on grows and I’d rather grow the good than the bad. So yeah, even if it was a tough shift, I always get around to the tough bits. Anywho…
In no particular order, here goes an imperfect, incomplete but finished list of my accomplishments and successes:
- In 2023, I faced many fears.
- I facilitated a self care workshop for kiddos at an elementary and middle school health and wellness workshop day that far, far exceeded my expectations. The takeaways from the third graders included “team work makes the dream work!”. In a middle school class, the same content yielded a powerful conversation on suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, and how we can take care of ourselves and create and leverage our connections for our personal safety.
- I accepted my first clinical role! There’s a whole other post coming about that but baaaaaaby, the fears I’ve overcome by accepting in this role are mind blowing, earth shifting, and world changing! I even got my Idea Worth Sharing while reflecting about on my work and have since applied to my first Tedx!
- I followed up on “scary” emails. The ones I wanted to run and hide from. The ones I wanted to ignore. And even though it took me days or sometimes even weeks to respond, when I chose to face my fears, I turned yes’ into no’s and no’s into yes’. I right sized my world by leveraging courage.
- I decided to WRITE A BOOK! Not 5 or 10 years from now, but now now. One thing I relearned this year is that the things that I wished for and thought would happen years from now are happening nyow. And for that, I’m oh so very and deeply grateful. I wrote a freebie for my website and a published author, influencer, and dynamo who I partnered with for a fire community event suggested I make it into a book. So when she suggested it and my knee jerk reaction was “No, I can’t do that!” I turned that no into a curious “Whatchu mean?!” into a loud resounding “Yes please and thanks!” So yeah, ya girl has been writing writing. Writing a book. Blogging thoughts. Dictating my book. I’ve been developing ideas so when I birth my book, it’s beautifully and fully formed.
- I allowed my ideas to ideate. I started somethings and finished others. I started somethings and didn’t finish them. I allowed myself to do things messy, imperfect, and beautiful. Which, coincidentally, also describes me!
- I allowed myself to enjoy the beginning and the middle without worrying about the ends and the outcomes. For a recovering perfectionist, this is a maaaaajor win!
- I let myself be embraced by and embrace various new-to-me communities. To grow and expand my circle and network.
- I was courageous enough to allow myself to acknowledge, ask for, and seek the help I needed. When you seek, you find, and I’m so glad I’m getting exactly what I need. And not only getting it, but giving it, too!
- I’m grateful for the generosity and gift of my words. That this year I have used my words intentionally to build, restore, to love, and to heal.
- I let myself be embraced by and in various phenomenal communities. (Oh look, a repeat most def worth repeating!)
- I rekindled old friendships that were worth rekindling.
- I ended other friendships that needed to end.
- I spoke up for Baby Joval. I asked challenging questions and gently poked holes to let the light in and to cleanse trauma with Truth.
- I let my needs be known. Correction: I expressed my needs, my wants, and my desires. No more pussyfooting! As I reminding a client today: *ahem* “Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who matter don’t mind and those you mind don’t matter.” (Dr. Seuss had baaaars!)
- I created and reinforced boundaries with other people even when it was excruciatingly uncomfortable. Which checks out because we mature in the zone of discomfort, not in the “comfort zone” (a total misnomer, btw, because it’s familiar not comfortable!) and that’s where I often choose to live. Okay, at least frequently visit.
- I gave myself the time– baby I’m talking weeks and months!– to return phone calls to give myself the ample space I needed to heal. This is a rush-free zone.
- I was courageous enough to lovingly confront dark parts of myself to transform and heal myself. After all, “Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I became more countercultural and leaned into myself and God (por ejempo, I gifted myself solitude for Christmas) .
- I show up as my true self at work from the start.
For me, 2023 was a year of transition. A year of waiting and growing and laboring.
And in 2024, I’m going to continue to deliver.
