One of the laws of life is that nothing is permanent, and everything is seasonal.
A Time for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Impermanence, if you will. Even the permanent thing aren’t permanent! Even things that we believe are permanent turn out to actually be seasonal. Marriages are seasonal because when someone dies, the marriage is “over”. Or, of course, when someone chooses to get a divorce. We also see this in God’s other non-people creations– dare I say in nature– too! Flowers are seasonal, because the flowers fall off and new flowers are born on a cyclical basis. (Side note: I used to think when this happened the whole plant died and baby, I got in the habit of throwing out flowers seasonally! Oopsie doopsie! Sooo glad I learned!) The same goes for trees, the leaves will fall, but rest assured the tree is not dead and that it’ll “return to life” when new leaves appear in another season.
And yet, despite knowing that everything that we touch, feel, and are in life is seasonal, we expect that what used to work for us will always continue to work for us. And so, when an attendee at the bariatric support group that I facilitate at Johns Hopkins Medicine’s Sibley Memorial Hospital asked, “What about my plateaus? How do you recommend I manage them?” I answered her like this:
If we were on a hike– and you can appreciate this analogy whether you’re a hiker or not– we would hate to always be climbing up the mountainside. We would want a rest, we’d want a reprieve. And deserve it, too! And in weight loss, that rest looks like a “plateau”. It looks like staying for a moment to enjoy how far we’ve come. And then, after a while, we’d be ready and want to continue hiking again only after we get to catch our breath, renew our energy, mind, and strength. While walking along the flat part of the hike, we eat a snack, get to take some water while enjoying this stretch of the “plateau”.
-Me to a participant facilitating Sibley Memorial Hospital’s Weight Loss Clinic Support Group of John Hopkins Medicine
By definition, a plateau also assumes that you’re at the top already. And that’s not true, because we see there is more to mountain to climb on our hike. And in weight loss, you know you have more weight– excess body fat, that is– to lose. So it’s a misnomer in it’s truest sense. So no, you’re not at the top, you’re not at a plateau but you are simply resting.
And so because things are seasonal, and because nothing lasts forever, the same is also true with our weight loss. The things that worked for me five years ago, some of them don’t work for me now. The things that worked for me in one season of my life when my season of life changes, when my work changes, when I change, those things no longer work for me.
When I first started moving my body aka working out, I enjoyed and relished my midday, mid afternoon walks. It was the reprieve that I needed to take a break from my toxic work environment. It was exactly what I needed when I needed it. I got to get out and enjoy the sun. I enjoyed getting lost in a neighborhood I knew by car but hadn’t ever explored on foot. To enjoy the flowers and plants that I whizzed by when driving. And now seven years later, I work a job that I absolutely love, no toxicity– thank you, Lord!– and I would still love to go for walks. But now the problem is I work night shift– from 6p to 6:30a. So no longer can I go for a mid workday walk because that would be at 2am. And I work at a facility that is backed up to the woods and it would be unsafe for me to go for a walk. So no longer do I go for those walks because the season has changed.
And so we think of plateaus as if we’re doing something wrong. But really, plateaus are an opportunity for us to revisit what is going really well. For us to check in with ourselves. For us to pause and honor how far we’ve come before we continue onward and upward. So here are some things to ask yourself: Of all the things I’m doing, what do I really actually love and enjoy? What am I taking pleasure in? What do I want to differently? It’s an invitation to revisit what I am doing and say, of the things that I’m doing what do I love? What do I no longer love? Let me stop doing those and find something else to do. Am I having fun? Am I really enjoying the process?
The only reason you’re at a “plateau” is because you are refusing to believe… No, because you were deceived into believing by others and/ or by yourself that once you found The Thing that you worked that you would continue doing it for the rest of your life. You had this picture perfect image that you had to continue doing The Thing forever. And that goes against one of the very laws of nature: that everything in it are seasonal. And I can promise you that when you find the appropriate work and tools– and fun!– that matches the current season that you’re in, no longer will you “plateau”. You will find renewal, you will reinvigorate yourself and you will continue to lose or maintain your weight because that is the crux of life and of law.
Everyone needs to hear this and know this. And I mean EVERYONE. I believe we already know it, but we’ve become so disconnected from ourselves we no longer believe what the God in us teaches us. It’s the still, deep knowing. Rather than bemoan the season of rest, akin to the leaves falling off the trees, we must instead appreciate the season we’re in and embrace the importance of and recognize these periods of stability as opportunities for reflection, adjustment, and preparation for continued progress. Just like it’s unrealistic and impossible (surely there must be some tree that is exempt from this rule of law) in nature for trees to always maintain their leaves, it is also impossible for someone who is losing weight to always lose weight. There comes a time when a tree stops growing and when it won’t continue to gain more leaves. Similarly, there comes a time when I won’t grow anymore in height and when I won’t or can’t lose more weight. My body, much like all of God’s other creations in nature, knows exactly what it needs and does exactly that. Exactly like how I didn’t decide how tall I was going to be, I didn’t decide when I was going to stop losing weight, either. The body simply knows.
We must acknowledge that what works at one point may not work forever. What works in one season will not work in another. And TBH (to be honest), I don’t want it to! What I know now that I didn’t know before maintaining my 100 pound weight loss for 5+ years is that I alone am in control of my life. I give away my power when I give away my capacity to maintain control of that which I can maintain control. I hear faint echos of Say huh, Joval? from some. Lemme ‘splain: we do with far more ease what is fun and enjoyable than what is painful. So when something is no longer fun, I make the necessary changes so I remain committed to my lifelong goal of always moving my body. Por ejemplo, this summer I was a member of Pure Barre (it’s a strenuous low-impact full body workout that’s a combo of dance, Pilates, and yoga) for only 3 months before giving it up. I was bored and TBH, I didn’t love the people there. So why pay for something and not go? I saved my coins and began trail walks instead. And when the seasons and I changed, I moved onto something else.
We learn a lot when we observe nature. When we observe ourselves. Not only is it practical wisdom, it’s inevitable. It’s law! Not to mention, we mitigate feelings of jealousy, envy, upset, anger, and a whole lotta other foolishness when we follow the laws of inevitable change instead of evading them. Change is essential for growth and this approach cultivates an adaptable, resilient mindset. And of course this transcends weight loss and the specific context of my bariatric support group, touching on broader life lessons about adaptability, patience, and the ongoing nature of personal growth and development. It serves as a reminder that our paths are not never linear but cyclical, filled with ups and downs, starts and stops, ebbs and flows, yins and yangs. And just like in nature, each phase has its own purpose and unique value. This understanding helps us navigate all of life’s challenges with grace and resilience, ever ready to adapt to new seasons.
I’ll end with this: As you may know, I work at a residential treatment center serving bold and courageous men, women and nonbinary folks who are seeking transformation from a different kind of addiction than my own. But addiction is addiction is addiction is addiction. The laws that govern nature, humanity, and addiction are all the same, which is why I excel at the work I do with my “clients” (that’s what we call patients at my facility and I’ve come to embrace the term as more person-centered though it bugged me at first, but I di-Jo). The same law about the inevitable change of nature applies to my dear clients, too. The strategies they use to maintains their sobriety in one season won’t work in another and that’s not only okay, it’s normal, expected! It’s why we must ensure we have more than one tool in our toolkit to keep us aligned with our values, our needs, our current circumstances, our goals and ultimately, our God-given vision.
And it’s why I always welcome my beloved clients back with open arms after they relapse. Why? Because a relapse ain’t nothing but learning a lesson of what not do to, and choosing to do it differently, with wisdom, next time. And it’s nothing short of honorable, humble, bold and courageous (all characteristics we’re called to be by the One who created us, btw!) than asking for help… Again.
You got this! God’s got me. I got you, so of course God’s got us, too!
