“If it costs you your peace, it costs you too much.”
I remember when my grandmother, at 90 years old, said to me, “If it costs you your peace, it costs you too much.” I don’t think I’ve heard her say it in the 12 years since. Yes, at 102.5 she’s very much alive and well, and is still sharing wisdom and much laughter!
I think we often assume (are deceived into believing?) peace is free, but everything comes at a cost—whether in dollars, attention, or time. We can spend it, invest it, save it, or even throw it away. But peace? Peace is so costly. It costs us our discomfort. It costs us our old life.
If we were raised in dysfunction, being at peace costs us the chaos of dysfunction—the drunkenness of it, even. If you’re willing to be at peace, you must first be willing to pay the cost. Thankfully, God paid it all. Truly. But the question is: are we willing to accept His payment on our behalf?
Silent Chaos
It’s noteworthy that chaos can be silent. Chaos doesn’t have to be loud and disruptive externally—it can be internal. It doesn’t have to look like the Real Housewives flipping tables or shouting and screaming and carrying on bad. Chaos also looks like crazymakers asking questions or in an effort to rile you up. It’s the storm you feel within that, when expressed, causes tornados.
“I have not given you a spirit of fear but a spirit of love, of power, and a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
Other translations say …of self-discipline.
With knowledge and maturity—spiritual, emotional—you now have self-control. The chaos that could’ve been no longer is. Rather than allow the chaos and surrender peace, you surrender all and embrace your birthright of peace. You choose self-discipline and control because you know you can. Because you know how. I should speak for myself. I now know how.
If it costs you your peace, it costs you too much. And remember—it’s not free. So, will I pay the cost, or will I allow God to pay it for me? One way or another, it costs.
Choosing Peace Over Old Patterns
This past week, I went to a funeral in my hometown. I stayed in a hotel instead of with my family. I rented a car instead of having my family drive me. That’s how I chose peace. I chose my divine peace—my birthright, our birthright! I chose to give up old ways of being and, instead I chose to do something new.
If it costs me my peace, I I now know it costs me too much, and that is a price I am no longer willing to pay. Surely spending an unexpected $250 on a hotel and car rental is a worth the price of my peace.
I would rather be in a hotel room alone—but never lonely!—because wherever I am, God goes. I enjoyed the quiet of the hotel. I was alone, but brought my community with me. I called them. I video chatted with them. I may be alone, and gratefully, I am no longer ever lonely.
Standing Firm in Peace
Instead of staying in what could have been chaos, deceit, lies, or discomfort, I paid a different price to get a different result. I allowed myself to do something new to remain at peace—not to repeat old patterns and old behaviors. To remain with me. Not to acquiesce or give up parts of myself. Not to do what my family is accustomed to me doing.
No. If it costs me my peace, it costs me too much. And this time when faced with the choice of peace or discomfort, I said, “Thank you, but no.” This time, I stood tall and firm. This time, I chose peace.
Gratitude for God’s Provision
Thank You, God, that the self-discipline I learned by letting You love me and loving You creates peace within me. Thank You that I now have equanimity—what once was only a hope and aspiration is now a reality. Thank You that when the world is chaotic around me, holy peace exists within me. Thank You that I know how to create peace with You in chaotic, crazy, uncomfortable spaces.
I paid the price, and I paid it by doing a new thing. The outcome of this showing up in the new exceeded my hopes. I assure you, in all things, God is exceedingly and abundantly doing far more than we could ever ask or think:
Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—
An Invitation to Peace
The question to you is this: Will you continue to surrender your peace, or are you willing to pay the cost to get and maintain it? I dictated this post and kept saying “pray” instead of “pay,” but part of the way I found peace was through prayer. By asking God:
- What would You have me do?
- How would You have me be?
- What would You have me know?
- How would You have me live?
- What is Your will for my life, so I can be at peace?
Take a moment to pause. Reflect on the areas of your life where you’ve been giving up your peace knowingly or perhaps not—perhaps out of habit, fear, or obligation. Consider what it would look like to step into peace boldly, trusting that God has already paid the ultimate price for you. And that you are well equipped to pay the cost.
Ask yourself:
- Where in my life am I trading peace for chaos, dysfunction or discomfort?
- What is God asking me to let go of so I can embrace His peace fully?
- How can I lean into prayer and faith to guide my next steps?
Write these questions in a journal. Pray over them. Medidate on it. Let God reveal His will to you, as He did for me. Remember, the peace He offers is your birthright—it’s already been bought and paid for. Will you accept it?
It’s with an abundantly grateful heart that today I can say: I am truly at peace.
