Too Many Tabs: When Your Life Feels Like a Browser Overload
How many tabs do you have open in your browser? In your heart? In your mind? In your home?
Whenever I’m on a meeting and someone screen shares and I see that their tabs look something like mine does, above, I shudder. Whew! That’s a lot. It stresses me out for them! And yet, what about me?!
This isn’t how I live my life, for the record.
Kinda.
I had 4 or 5 separate windows with 5-10 tabs open. Each categorized by the thing I was working on: Responding to various emails. Writing blog posts. Job search. Business research.
But in an effort to close my tabs, I pulled them all together.
8. The number of ChatGPT tabs I have open. Keeping them open so it helps me remember.
I’m so unorganized right now. My very being is unorganized. Who I am is unorganized. Which, not at all surprisingly, impacts how I do everything. I tighten up at work because I must. They pay me to be organized. To stay on top of things. But can I be honest? It’s exhausting. And I’m now realizing it’s because I’m fighting with myself.
God, help me.
Help me organize not what I do, but who I am.
Give me clarity on all that I”m doing. Help me stay focused. Help me organize my time and ergo, my life! Help me reclaim my life. Help me renew my home. My heart home, my spiritual home, my emotional home, my financial home, my business home, my heart home.
Help me do all that I need to do. Give me the strength because in You I am made strong. Give me the clarity because in You I have vision. In You, I have sight. Give me eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to feel.
I haven’t always lived like this. This is new-ish. Emphasis on the ish. Something has changed, shifted. I don’t know why but I absolutely know what. I used to have obsessive compulsive disorder. I felt so out of control within myself that I controlled what I could outside of myself. Which was so great for me because my home was pristine. Everything had a place. Everything had a home.
And now, here I am. I find myself longing to declutter everything. Every space, every thought, every task.
Like A Tree: When You Need To Be Planted Again
At last week’s silent retreat I found myself longing to be like a trees– deeply rooted. Moving in the wind. Leaves gently falling. Always in motion. Always shedding. Always letting go.
And so this is my prayer:
God, help me care for myself like you care for the trees. Help me be like the righteous person described in Psalms 1:3
And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper [and come to maturity].
Thank You God that You came so I would not survive. You made me for more. You came so we would be and have more. John 10:10:
I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
And help me remember the first half of the verse, too:
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy.
Self-Care as Sacred Love
Self care.
Self care is God in action. Self care is God’s love for me turned inward.
Self care is noticing. Is awareness. It’s having “eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to feel. And a heart to feel.” This, too, is my prayer. It’s hearing and obeying.
Obeying, God’s will for me.
This blog post is starting to feel as unorganized as my browser. Deep breaths. Deeper still.
Thank You God for bringing me back to myself which brings me back to You.
Thank You God that You help me remember. Thank You for this holy, sacred reminder. Like the sun shining through the trees, the warmth of it’s light reflecting on what needs to be cleansed by its fire light.
This is it: Here’s what I need to remember now. Tomorrow. And the tomorrows after that: Help me God lean not on my own understanding, but on Yours. Help me remember to surrender to You. Help me come to You for Your power because I am powerless without You.
Dassit. This whole rigamarole to get to this: There’s nothing in this world that I can do without God. Every impossible is made possible with God. Thank You Gawd for the reminder that I need You more than I need my breath, my beating heart, and sunshine.
And so it is. It is well. It is done. It is already done well. Amen.
Come Back to Yourself, Come Back to God
Right now, even in the midst of open tabs, scattered thoughts, and soul-level tiredness—you are worthy of rest, clarity, and divine peace. Not when everything is finally organized. Not when your inbox is empty or your house is clean. Now. As you are. Right here.
Let’s take the next step together:
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You don’t have to untangle everything at once. Start here. Start small. And let God do the rest.
