They Weren’t Losses—They Were Exits: How Truth Set Me Free

If you’re anything like me, you probably expected everyone and everything to remain unchanged when we transformed. More accurately, that they’d change with you. At least, that was my hope. My hope was that I wouldn’t lose the people who I loved and who loved me. They were, after all, my peoples!

But when one thing changes, everything around it changes. And that’s on physics!

Freedom ain’t free because it comes at a cost.

And it cost me a lot, and it continues to cost me. And it will perpetually, always be worth it.

Regardless of who I lose, the truth of the matter is, it isn’t a loss. There are no losses. Yes, they feel like a loss. Yes, there are people who leave. Yes, there are people who choose to exit stage left. Yes, there’s even a close friend who exited stage left yearsss after she found out I had bariatric surgery because I didn’t tell her until about 5 years after the fact. And if I had to do it over, I would do it all over again.

But now I know they weren’t losses. They were exits. When you gain oh so very much in freedom and liberation, you’ll come to more fully and truly understand that even the “losses” are gains.

Want freedom and liberation? Seek Truth!

My freedom came when I deepened my relationship with God. When I sought the Divine, it cost me my comfort and my willingness to settle. First in my relationship with myself, then with others, then in others’ expectations. I command more of myself and others because I know abundantly more is readily available. It cost me willingness to remain unchanged.

So if you’re aching from what you’ve lost on your way to freedom—breathe.

What left you couldn’t stay where God was calling you to go. And what stayed? That’s your alignment.

My freedom didn’t come easy. It cost me people, ways of thinking, patterns, comfort, and convenience.

And I gained peace. I gained truth. I gained me. And above all, I gained my relationship with The Creator, Divine Mother and Holy Father. Yes, that God.

If you’re ready to be free, ask for truth. But know this:
Truth will cost you everything that was never yours to keep.

And baby, it’ll be worth every single drop.

A Prayer For Letting Go

God,

It hurt to let go of people I once held close. It ached to release what I thought would always be there. Thank You that I trust You more than I trust my comfort. Even when the losses feel heavy, help me remember that they’re making room—room for peace, for truth, for more of You, for more authentic, real, loving connections.

Soften the sting. Help me guard my heart. Remind me that nothing You remove is wasted, and nothing You withhold is meant to harm me. Make me brave enough to grieve and bold enough to keep growing.

May we all come to know this, understand this, and embody this. When we forget, help us remember.

And so it is. It’s already done. Amen.