No Plan, Only God: How I’m Choosing Obedience Over Security
I wish I could keep up in writing/ blogging how quickly and swiftly and beautifully God is moving and grooving, shucking and jiving in my lil life!
Do I start at the beginning or the end?
Okay, okay, I’ll just start:
I’m facing my fears and I’m quitting my job to create a life I can be proud of. Not when I’m old(er) and retire, but now.
For yearssss I prayed God would make me be who She created me to be. And for months (years?) God has called me to more and I’ve been hesitant. I paused. I returned to the vision and experienced a little heaven on earth, and then returned to life as normal.
But not today. Not this time.
As I said in How Resting in California Was One of the Most Powerful Things I’ve Done This Year, I returned home from California unwilling to return to my regular degular life. I knew from the depths of my being, from the God within me and the Holy Spirit around me, that this return home needed to be different.
Letting California’s cliffs, redwoods, and quiet spaces remind me that growth takes time—and I’m right on time. 🌊🌲💜
And it was. If I told you in one blog post how God moved swiftly to get my attention, you’d think I was mad.
JK, Only those who haven’t met and experienced God like I have would. Those of you who know God, know God would actually say, “Yep, sounds about God!”
Now that I’ve cleared up that misunderstanding for myself (and perhaps you, too?), lemme ‘splain, or at least give it a good faith effort.
Imma start at the end. Or, continue? And continue!:
I started: I’m facing my fears and I’m quitting my job to create a life I can be proud of. Not when I’m old(er) and retire, but now.
I’m continuing: I’m quitting my job and am going to be who God said I am: “bold and courageous, do not be afraid for the Lord your God goes with you wherever you go.”
And as I journaled just before touching down in Californ-i-a:
I didn’t know exactly what was ahead, but I knew it was God.
And that was enough.
God,
I could weep.
I’m here?? How’d I get here??
There’s nothing I can’t do with without You and nowhere I can’t go without You.
That’s the lesson, isn’t it?
I know it is. First Cali, Next, Latin America.Can I be honest with you?? I FORGOT I WROTE THAT!
But it’s not surprising. Not nan bit!
Why?
Because I ended that entry like so:
I know beauty and rest will envelop me here like a warm hug. And love. So much love!
God, show me. Guide me. Lead me. Love me. Transform me.
And so it is. It’s already done! Magic and miracles are mine. Amen!And it was so! So much love greeted me in California like a warm hug. And they– magic and miracles!– are mine! I’m naming and claiming them.
Where do I continue from here?
Welp…
I’m quitting my job and TBH, I can’t gloss over that!
I need to sit in that. Sit with that.
You don’t even know the fear that feared.
I guess now is a better time than ever for me to name my fears. For me to spell them out. For me to face them. To honor them. To notice them. To greet them and then, when the time is right, surrender them. Not so they leave and may return, but so they leave.
Side note: I’m not even gonna lie. My heart is beating at a quicker pace lol This is courage in action. Baring my fears for the world?! (Yes, WORLD because I just know er’body from everywhere is reading this. Why? Because Imma speak things as though they were, not as though they are! And let’s be read, IDK where y’all are reading from because I don’t have data analytics but that’s for another day because I feel myself running away from the very thing I said Imma face. Hellooo distraction!)
My biggest fears of leaving my job after 5 months?
